E! Online – Gossip – Fashion Police report…
A Leg Up
The thigh’s the limit for Britney Spears at the NRJ Music Awards in Cannes, France, where the pop princess proves she’s got gam–er, game. But is Brit’s slit too much of a good thing in this high-cut stretch dress? Just asking.
Maybe I should just make this the “I (heart) Britney” Blog. Hmmmmmm.
Saturday Night Live Transcripts
Updated every Friday, Saturday Night Live Transcripts features 1,076 transcripts of the funniest skits, characters and sketches from the history of “Saturday Night Live”.
Now if only they’d update earlier in the week, I’d be able to review this weeks Weekend Update!
(Don’t forget, you can also buy SNL episodes, seasons and collections
The Daily Probe reports…
Apple’s Rejected iMac Designs
A Daily Probe Exclusive
CUPERTINO, CA (DPI) – Apple Computer’s new iMac made a big splash in the computer community a couple of weeks ago, with its sleek, compact design getting rave reviews from the Mac crowd and snickers and giggles from others. As distinct as the new design may be, it wasn’t the only attempt by Apple’s engineers and designers. Daily Probe investigators have discovered some top-secret photographs of various designs rejected by Apple Computer as they narrowed down their vision. Here are a handful of the most interesting concepts.
Some funny concepts in there!
The creators of ArmyMen Porn have WAAAAAAY too much time on their hands. But it’s funny.
CNET.com reports..
Time to rewrite the DMCA
By Rick Boucher
January 29, 2002, 12:00 PM PT
The American public has traditionally enjoyed the ability to make convenient and incidental copies of copyrighted works without obtaining the prior consent of copyright owners. These traditional “fair use” rights are at the foundation of the receipt and use of information by the American people.
Unfortunately, those rights are now under attack.
In 1997, motion picture studios, record producers, book publishers and other content owners came to Congress with a simple proposition: Give us a law that will stop pirates from circumventing technical protection measures used to safeguard copyrighted works, and we will release all sorts of exciting new content in digital formats
At the time, libraries, universities, consumer electronics manufacturers, Internet portals and others warned that enactment of the broadly worded legislation would stifle new technology, would threaten access to information, and would move us inexorably towards a “pay per use” society. That day is now close at hand.
The DMCA is evil. “Fair use” no longer applies, and it’s just plain wrong to put all the power in the hands of the corporations. Sure, they have a right to protect their “investments” or their intelectual property, but I have a right to make a backup copy of a CD/tape/whatever. And if I buy a DVD, I have a right to play it on a computer, even if they haven’t written the software to do it (aka DeCSS).
CNET.com brings us…
Have you Googlewhacked?
By Lisa M. Bowman
Staff Writer, CNET News.com
January 29, 2002, 3:40 PM PT
What do you get when you cross a colonoscopy with a cockatiel? The same thing you get when you cross a cartographer with a hairball–a Googlewhack.
An interesting concept, but now that it’s getting so much press, I doubt that there will be many 2 word ‘whacks left soon…
I just signed up with notifylist.com to provide some archiving of notifications and stuff. We’ll see how it works. You can sign up here on my site, or on notifylist.com.
Enjoy.
Pepsi, Yahoo! and Britney have teamed up to offer:
This is for the people onwe of PEPSI!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Do you help people?
Do you help people with low IQ?
Do you help any one?
Do you have Grant to help people?
Do Pepsi Co like people?
Do Pepsi Co love people?
Richard Whittington
91 Court Street Apt 14
Machias, Maine 04654
E! Online News reports…
007 Dis(Gold)members Austin Powers
by Marcus Errico
Jan 25, 2002, 4:30 PM PT
Forget Dr. Evil and Mini-Me, it’s apparently James Bond that poses the biggest threat to Austin Powers.
The International Man of Mystery has been shaken, stirred and otherwise dismembered by 007. Or make that dis-Goldmember-ed.
kuro5hin.org links us to….
the Moral Parsimony quiz. It’s a way of gauging how “moral” you are. I got a 67% – which is actually better than the average of 57%!
ABCNEWS.com reports…
Draping History
Halls of Justice: A Weekly Look
Inside the Justice Department
By Beverley Lumpkin
W A S H I N G T O N, Jan. 25 – About three weeks ago, I received a tip. The attorney general was fed up with having his picture taken during events in the Great Hall in front of semi-nude statues.
He had ordered massive draperies to conceal the offending figures. But initially not only could the story not be confirmed – it was strongly denied.
As some of you may know the Justice Department building was constructed during the 1930s as a WPA project, completed in 1934. The artwork and fittings were strongly influenced by the Art Deco movement. Much of the ornamentation in the building is made of aluminum, apparently a big Art Deco feature.
Glad to see that all those taxes I pay are going to something useful.
I paid more than the $8000 in taxes last year and you can count it as my donation to the curtains.
Better than paying someone to sit at home and watch tv instead of work.
Amazon.com offers pre-ordering of Oz: The Complete First Season. This is a good thing. A very good thing. If you’ve ever seen it on HBO, now’s your chance to watch it again.
BBspot – OJ Simpson Unearths the Real Killers
OJ Simpson Unearths the Real Killers
By Wil Wheaton
New York – Early this morning, disgraced former football player and accused murderer OJ Simpson stood on a platform overlooking Ground Zero and announced, “I have finally found The Real Killers. It turns out that they were not, as I had previously thought, working on a golf course or at a strip club. It turns out that The Real Killers were working in the World Trade Center. Unfortunately, due to the tragic events of September 11, we will never be able to recover their bodies, or bring them to justice.”
It’s funny, but it’s also sick.
sam, 
Renee, 
Kate and 15 others are discussing. 
Richard Whittington is discussing. 
T Searcy is discussing.
William Conkin 18:58 on 2002/03/15 Permalink | Log in to Reply
Why won’t http://snltranscripts.jt.org/ cooperate? Every time I try to go to that site, I get the dreaded “This page cannot be displayed” message. WHy is that?
Anonymous 18:59 on 2002/03/15 Permalink | Log in to Reply
Why
Kevin 00:52 on 2002/03/21 Permalink | Log in to Reply
I’m trying to find the SNL sketch with Rob Schneider as a Greek guy working behind the counter at a diner. When a customer asks for more juice for his gyro. Schneider says “you lika da juice” “da juice is good” “I get you more juice”. Which year? show?etc. Thanks….Kev
Lily 00:52 on 2002/04/05 Permalink | Log in to Reply
I’m not exactly sure what kind of site this is, or what it offers. However, I was hoping someone could give me or link me to some site that had the complete transcript for the Hugh Jackman episode. (11/8/01)
Thanks
Hank Whitsett 10:52 on 2002/04/20 Permalink | Log in to Reply
Tina Fey’s monologue from April 6, 2002 Weekend Update? Anyone? Worldclass, imho.
peace&love
hank
Jessica 18:48 on 2002/06/13 Permalink | Log in to Reply
Hey there, I missed the May 18, 2002 show and a friend told me that there was a new Celebrity Jeopardy. The best part about it was that Jimmy Fallon was Dave Matthews, I would love it if I could get the transcript from than. So if anyone knows how to find it or has the transcript, just let me know! Thanks
Jess
Bri Bri 17:36 on 2002/07/08 Permalink | Log in to Reply
Hey, does anybody know where I can get the transcript for the Brian Fellow’s Safari Planet wit Jimmy Fallon and The Rock?
Jessica 01:09 on 2002/07/18 Permalink | Log in to Reply
I NEED to find the transcript from Wake up Wakefield with Kirsten Dunst.It was sooo hilarious. Please help.
Sean 00:02 on 2002/11/08 Permalink | Log in to Reply
Do you have the Matt foley motivational speaker with David Spade
Sarah Ashton 10:39 on 2002/11/09 Permalink | Log in to Reply
does anyone have any sketch transcripts of the 2002-2003 season premier with matt damon. Id like ones wit jimmy fallon da most!!
John 23:40 on 2002/11/10 Permalink | Log in to Reply
hey i need to know if anyone has any of the Amber (one-legged hypoglycemic) skits of the Bachelor or Dismissed… they are so hilarious, but not of her skits is there.. help?
steve 19:03 on 2002/12/02 Permalink | Log in to Reply
hey everyone! i need to find the transcripts to the rene zelweger show! its not on saturdaynightlivetranscripts.com! does anyone have it or know anyone who does? im really just looking for the skit on Jerry Maguire 2-its so funny! please help! thanks, steve
Cortney 15:00 on 2003/02/27 Permalink | Log in to Reply
I am desperately searching for a transcript, video clip, or audio clip of the Jennifer Aniston 1999 sketch with Rachel Dratch as the Lawn Urchins.
Specifically, the song they sing.
PLEASE HELP ME!
No one seems to have archived this skit!
Cortney 15:02 on 2003/02/27 Permalink | Log in to Reply
I am desperately searching for a transcript, video clip, or audio clip of the Jennifer Aniston 1999 sketch with Rachel Dratch as the Lawn Urchins.
Specifically, the song they sing.
PLEASE HELP ME!
No one seems to have archived this skit!
Bill Nokaf 22:57 on 2003/05/24 Permalink | Log in to Reply
I’ve been searching for the name of the song being played in the backround of “The Falconer” skit with Ashton Kutcher when Donald and the muskrat are competing.
adam 13:58 on 2003/05/27 Permalink | Log in to Reply
News flash: I do not own, operate, or have anything to do with the SNL Transcripts site. If you want help, please go to their site and ask them.
Anthony DeLucia 20:42 on 2004/01/16 Permalink | Log in to Reply
I would really appreciate an Ackroyd video or script he played on the Chrismas 1976 show hosted by Candace Bergman. He was the radiation and smog “weatherman”. It was hilarious.
Any suggestions would be appreciated.
Kate 19:36 on 2005/12/18 Permalink | Log in to Reply
I have been searching for any of the scripts for “The Needlers ‘The Couple that Should be Divorced’” and have had no such luck. Anyone have or know where I can find one of the scripts???
Renee 22:02 on 2006/01/01 Permalink | Log in to Reply
Does anyone have the renee zellweger transcript/s? !!!!!!!!Please!!!!!!!!!!!
sam 08:22 on 2009/03/06 Permalink | Log in to Reply
can someone find the transcript for the spartans chess tournament